Ordinary Talk


Posts tagged my cat

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Sometimes I look at how cats just absolutely love curling up in bowls and cups for mysterious cat reasons and then I remember that they were probably domesticated in the Fertile Crescent like nine thousand or whatever years ago when we were just a bunch of guys figuring agriculture and so cats have been walking up to humans and snuggling down into our pottery since we had cats and pottery and things to want to put in the pottery besides cats, but no, a cat is in that bowl and you will just have to deal with it for the next nine thousand years, motherfucker.

Then I sit around having feelings. 

A cat is trying to sit on my computer as I’m typing this.

(via bloodstainbowbarnacle)

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A week ago, I noticed my cat was drooling a lot, and when I pulled her upper lip back a little, I noticed her gums were pretty red. So, I took her in to the vet to get it checked out, and when he pulled her lips back all the way, her poor mouth looked like a dentist’s horrorshow.

So, today, I dropped her off so they could sedate her and look at exactly how bad it was and do whatever needed to be done. I dropped her off at 8:30am and couldn’t pick her up until 6:00pm, and I was worried sick the whole day because Mr. and Mrs. S., the family I work for as a nanny/babysitter, had a young healthy cat who unexpectedly died when he was sedated for a routine surgical procedure like this one and I somehow got myself all but convinced that my cat was gonna die until I actually had her doped-up butt in my arms this evening. She had to have nine teeth removed, including one of her canines, and she keeps pawing at her mouth and licking where her teeth used to be and falling over because of the sedative and I feel really guilty that tomorrow’s one of my internship days so I won’t be able to stay and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid like try to eat dry food or claw at her mouth.  The procedure cost me an entire month’s rent, and things are getting really tight again.

I dunno if I mentioned here, but I’m in my final year of getting a Master’s in Public Health, and I’ve got an internship at the EPA center in Philadelphia studying the health effects of hydrofracking. It’s pretty much the best internship I could have hoped for, but it means that on Wednesdays and Thursdays I am busy from 7:00am until 10:00pm, and Fridays 7:00am-6:00pm, and Saturdays I’m working almost all day and I’m working every Sunday and Monday and Tuesday afternoons and evenings, and whenever I’m not working I need to be studying or writing papers or doing homework or working on final projects or internship projects, and I again basically have no time and although I’m working constantly I again basically have no money. This seems to be my base state of being ever since I got my bachelor’s degree in 2005.

I have health insurance again, though! As soon as I can find enough free time to schedule an appointment with Doc Lucy, I can get back on asthma medication and not have to worry about having coughing fits on the subway or in elevators or in the middle of the night for no good friggin’ reason. Also, I decided that I need to see a psychiatrist again and get back on some medication. I was pretty okay for a few years, but either stress or denial or some ineffable biological rhythm is making things kind of unbearable as of late. I’ve been….really, really wary about seeking professional help again for the depression, because every counseling session with every counselor I’ve had has been an intensely negative experience and because the one time I was on antidepressants I gained 50 pounds in half a year, but I shouldn’t dismiss the whole field of mental healthcare out of hand because of that, especially when it’s becoming more and more obvious that I can’t deal with this stuff on my own.

Anyway, that’s why I’ve not really been posting anything besides reblogs since January.